The Kettlenetics K-Bell

The Kettlenetics K-Bell

Look out for the newest fitness fad that's sweeping the nation!  It's the exercise craze that's got Hollywood stars Matthew McConaughey and Katherine Heigel looking like a million dollars.  It's Kettlenetics!!

And oh my god, it's a real product.  It may be the gayest exercise product I've ever seen.

Some joker has taken the time to slap handle on a ball and calls it an exercise.  I guess the thought behind it is that finally, after years of scientific research, he's designed a ball that won't roll away.  It's got a flattened bottom and for the physically inept, a giant handle on the top.

So you can pick it up.

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Yard Sale Fever

Yard Sale Fever

So I had a yard sale with my parents and my sister this past weekend. I know what you're thinking, in October? Don't worry, the weather was a brisk 60 degrees; it was nice. Rain had threatened us all week but it came a day early and stopped around four in the morning, just in time.

I advertised the yard sale (or garage sale / tag sale for those of you who say it that way) on craigslist and a local tv station's web site and several tag-sale-related web sites. We put up signs at every major intersection within the surrounding 10 miles.

We did everything we could short of advertising in the local paper that would have cost $15. And as a result, my mom around $45 money, my sister made around $150, and I lost $8.

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The Last Potato

The Last Potato

This past Sunday night, I ate dinner at my parent's house. Also in attendance were my sister and her new husband. It was a simple dinner of grilled hot dogs with all the fixins and pan-fried potato slices. The meal was more about the company than the food itself.

I made my two hot dogs with chili, mustard, mayo, ketchup, cheese, onions, Texas Pete hot sauce and homemade slaw. In most hot dog joints, they call this Southern Style or Carolina Style. It's how I grew up eating them and to me, it's how they should be made.

I've been through the streets of New York and bought a Sabrett's with mustard and kraut. They're good, don't get me wrong. But they just don't compare with a Southern Style chili dog.

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Blind Date From Hell (pt2)

Blind Date From Hell (pt2)

I pulled up to Becky's place in my Mustang and lightly tapped the horn, as she'd asked me to do. I waited. And waited. The house wasn't in the best part of town which should have tipped me off right there but I'm an eternal optimist.

I tapped the horn again and waited, beginning to wonder if I had the right place.

But then she emerged from her house.

All 98 pounds of her.

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The Blind Date From Hell (pt1)

The Blind Date From Hell (pt1)

It was the summer of '91 and the first time in my life since I'd began dating that I found myself alone. I just came off an engagement break-up and had met a girl at college who went home for the summer. She would eventually become my first wife seven years later but all I could see at that time was a bleak summer where most my friends and prospective dates had deserted town for the familiarity of home.

The blind date from hell entered my life through a wrong number. My roommate at the time, Matt, answered the phone one night and began talking to this chick. He was in a relationship so to him, it was a novelty to talk to a complete stranger with no expectations or responsibility. They'd never meet, so what harm was it?

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The Picky Eater

The Picky Eater

For 37 years now, I have been an extremely picky eater. I can't help it, it's just who I am. I won't eat certain foods for the stupidest reasons. What reasons? You wouldn't believe me if I told you.

Of course, I'll try. And maybe some of you out there will learn that you're not alone.

1. Green Things: Early in life I developed an aversion to all foods green. Doctor Moore, my childhood doctor, used to lecture to me that I was building a body based on the foods I ate. This didn't help. Who wants a body of spinach and green beans?

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The Jew and the Bacon

The Jew and the Bacon

I have two bosses, a 49-yr old Korean woman and an 86-yr old Jewish man. The woman is the caring, motherly type that treats me like another son. The old man is a codgy bugger who built a couple million-dollar companies up from scratch and now plays around in the property management field.

The old man personifies the Jewish stereotype. He has the typical long face and deep-set eyes. He speaks Yiddish. And he's so tight with his money that he makes my dad look like Donald Trump in his spending habits. (Read about my dad here)

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