Growing up, I was kind of a goody-two-shoes. I really never did anything wrong. I was only grounded once (a story for another time). I lived my mischievousness out vicariously through others. Thus, the story of the pocketbooks and fishing line.
My friends and I lived way out in the country on a road that more or less existed to get people from A to B. Our little community was neither A nor B; we lived in the middle of nowhere.
Entertainment for little boys was scarce in the Summer. Bike riding. Baseball. Basketball. Fishing. You'll notice that none of these activities drain the devilishness that lives inside every of little boy. Boys need an outlet for these urges.
My friends found such an outlet. Pocketbooks and fishing line.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Pocketbooks and Fishing Line
Monday, December 8, 2008
A Regular Seven
A Regular Seven
I got a chance to see my two nephews this past weekend and as always, their innocent insight into the world proved to be enlightening. From Monkey Poop to thoughts on what colors of food are edible, they have a knack of pointing out things that us "adults" miss.
For instance, did you know that nicknames should make sense?
My cousin has a little boy named Kyle but because the grandfather is Kyle and the uncle is Kyle Junior, this Kyle is referred to as "Little Kyle." Sounds reasonable enough, right?
Until you mix kids into the equation.
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Monday, November 17, 2008
You Can't Catch Me!
My parents are getting older. They're in their sixties now. While that's still relatively young by today's standards, they can't do things like they used to.
Every time I visit home, one or both of them is hobbling in some new way. Hips, knees, shoulders, ankles. Their bodies are slowly falling apart and sometimes, it's all they can do to get through the day without contracting some new ailment or injury.
Last week I was over there watching TV. I stretched out on the couch while my mom and dad sat in their respective favorite chairs, two high-back red leather recliners.
Monday, March 24, 2008
The Lost Art of Shoe Tying
Kids nowadays, they got it made. When I say kids, I mean little humans under the age of seven. The ones who are excited about going to school because homework is actually fun. The ones who can still get away with an occasional poop in the pants. The ones who still bother Grandpa to play pull-my-finger because it's funny to hear from that elephant that lives under the recliner.
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Monday, February 25, 2008
The Great Cereal Blog (part 2)
Remember when you were a kid and it was a big deal to go to the grocery store? Do you recall why it meant so much to you? Did it by any chance have anything to do with the venerated cereal aisle?
Ahh, that cereal aisle, offering children the grandest of choices in sugary foods known to man. Cereals of rice, corn or oats; transfused with amazing sucralicsious sugar.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
The Obligatory Halloween Blog
Halloween is probably the funnest holiday ever invented. Not only is it during the best time of the year, Autumn, but it is mandatory to be someone else. The holiday is a license to pretend and what could be more fun?
Since the earliest days of my memories, pretending was part of my life. Before my sister came along when I was four, I had pretend play-friends. I remember playing with them in the sandbox, pushing the hardened cat turds around with my yellow Tonka bulldozer, pretending the entire sandbox was a construction site.
(I always wanted the write the word turd.)
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Tuesday, August 21, 2007
If The Shoe Fits ...
Back in high school, I worked in the shoe department at Sears in the mall. I started the summer before in Personnel but when school came around, I moved out to the sales floor. Into the shoe department. I was Al Bundy before the show ever existed.
This was all back in the time when Sears had those Super Saturday sales, they'd run giant flyers in the newspaper with scratch-off sections and you had to bring the flyer to the store before you scratched it off. Underneath could be an extra ten to fifty percent off our already low sales prices. (Sorry, that jargon stuck with me)
We just happened to have a Super Saturday sale my first week on the floor. This was not a good thing. You see, you almost needed a specialized degree to run the register at a Sears back then. There were no barcode scanners and here I was fresh out of register training, thrown into the busiest single sale day a Sears associate could experience.
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